You are more beautiful than you think


Recently, Dove USA shared a Video that went viral on Youtube. Everyone was sharing it on facebook, most people loved it and some attacked it as well. I personally felt very touched when I watched it. Because I could relate to it. I’ve been (and still am) critical about my appearance, irrationally so for the most part. And most women I’ve known have insecurities about the way they look and it invariably affects their confidence and self esteem. If you haven’t seen this Video yet, you can watch it below –


You are more beautiful than you think
You are more beautiful than you think




If you’re someone who is completely secure about her looks, you don’t need to read this any further. But for those who feel a connection when they saw this video, this post is for you. I’ve been there and in some ways I’m still there. I’ve struggled with weight issues most of my late teens/adult life and sometimes, it has taken over my life. So much so that sometimes I am unable to see past that to all the achievements and qualities that make me who I am. I had stopped treating my body with respect and love. I would not indulge in anything related to my body – be it clothes, bath products, accessories etc. I’d only shop if an occasion necessitated a purchase. I wanted to wait till I lost weight – and I would then show some love to my body.  Its like a parent not loving a child till the child got full marks in an exam. And I realized that when I saw this video countless times when it played as an ad before another video.

I don’t feel we women are entirely to blame for the way we feel about our bodies, the insecurities we have. We are blasted by images of perfect women – with perfect skin and perfect bodies from all sides. And that is the ideal of beauty we begin aspiring to in our heads – that is what we start comparing ourselves to when we look at ourselves. See this video –


The first step to changing the way we feel about ourselves is to accept that we are real women – and we don’t need to have poreless skin, or flawless bodies with no stretch marks, the perfect waist measurement or weight to feel beautiful. You are beautiful at size 14 and you’ll still be beautiful at size 8. At size 8, you feel better because you are healthier, fitter and have more energy (assuming you eat sensibly and have some form of exercise in your routine).


I get so many queries from girls everyday about pores, stretch marks, facial hair, pigmentation, dark skin, weight issues. The most common ones are for pores and fairness remedies. In India, a lot of women (and men) are obsessed with the color of their skin. You cannot change the color of your skin. Period. And you should not aspire to. Work towards making your skin healthier, more radiant but don’t try to make yourself ‘fairer’. Fairness creams are the worst. They not only poison the minds of young girls but their parents as well. I have got queries from girls asking for fairness treatments because their parents have started to look for grooms for them. I feel so sad when I read these mails. No skin color is more beautiful than the other. Emma Stone is beautiful. So is Jennifer Lopez. So is Beyonce. What makes these women beautiful is not the amount of melanin in their skin. Its their personalities, their confidence and the fact that they are proud of who they are. Stop thinking about getting fairer. Its not going to get you anywhere. And the kind of people who’d like to become fairer need a reality check too.


You are beautiful
You are beautiful



Embrace your body the way it is. And when I say this, I’m not saying you should not work on your body. But the results you aspire for should not be to look like someone else, it should be to look like the best version of yourself – the healthiest version of you.  The models and actresses look like the way they do with a lot of effort – from styling, makeup, airbrushing and a LOT of digital touching up. No real woman looks like that. Everyone has pores, hair, stretch marks etc. These images should not be your idols. You should aspire for a body that is not a certain size but what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your skin. Feeling beautiful is not about the size of your jeans, or the color of your skin. Its something that goes much deeper. It comes from within. It comes from accepting and loving your body, from taking care of it and from inner confidence.


You are more beautiful than you think
You are more beautiful than you think


So stop being so critical about yourself – about your nose, about the color of your skin, the pores on your cheeks, the jiggly bits on your arms, tummy etc. Treat your body with love and respect, eat sensibly, drink loads of water, stop eating so much junk and sugar and use good products on your face and body, exercise at least a little bit 3-4 times a week. Work towards your dreams, do something constructive/creative, do something nice for the people you love and stop directing your energies to negative thoughts and feelings. Spend some time doing things you like – read, knit, paint, spend time with your loved ones, go shopping, get a massage and know that you don’t need to be flawless physically to be a beautiful woman.



  1. Lovely!
    You wrote each and every word from the core of ur heart!
    I m definately going to read it again n motivating and positive.
    Thanx Ankita!

  2. All beautiful things put together by you in such an inspiring way. Read it thrice, so that I can always remember this fact. I too sometimes tend to underrate my capabilities in front of my imperfections and then start comparing myself with others (mostly with my younger sibling who is taller than me, I’m 5’7 but she being three years younger than me is 5’8)

    Thanks for sharing both the videos Ankita and coming up with this post on the occasion of Mother’s day where we should always remember that no matter how we look like, its more imp to know whether we look like our mother/parents, if yes then we should treasure that. 🙂

  3. Hi Ankita,

    Very very touching! Thank you for reinforcing the view that my complete self is more important than what others see externally. Since I am dark-skinned, all my growing years and even to this day, I am unfairly compared to people who are fairer. Every other day I hear that so-and-so is beautiful because she is fair. I can never fathom this obsession with fair skin in our country and frankly it is infuriating. Why cant people looks beyond looks and skin colour? Truly, our society has eons to go before we have a change of mindset.

  4. I totally almost teared up watching the Dove commercial! I’d say my insecure phase is well behind me now, but I definitely remember being there and it wasn’t a good feeling. I think part of the reason why I started a blog is trying to convey the same message. Life is too short to be wasted on feeling bad about how you look!

    truly inspiring and also, make you realise there is more to life than being caught up on something as fleeting as physical beauty. 🙂

  6. Thanks for posting such a positive message Ankita. It touched a deep chord within me, and with so many of your other readers I can tell.

    As women we often underestimate ourselves – and not just in terms of beauty and appearance. Often, we set higher targets to reach out to – to be the perfect mom, the perfect wife, the perfect daughter. Often this desire to reach the unattainable ideal leads to guilt and a general disatisfaction.

    I won’t make this long drawn, but this post did bring out some unresolved conflicts – not just in the fact that I have struggled with weight issues and confidence busters for many years now – but also the other personal issues that have come forth because of this loss of self-worthiness.

    Last word, if we don’t value ourselves, for who we are, no one else will!!

  7. Loved it completely!! Thanks a lot Ankz for the post!!! All your posts are very very good in quality and this one’s been the best so far!!

  8. Well said ankita…it’s so important in this superficial for people to see beyond the face and figure these days…kudos to your post…

  9. I too have got mails from girls who want to become fair just because many grooms has rejected them for being a dusky beauty or they rejected them later because they found a fair looking beauty.. All I have to say at that point is that they are NOT real men and Real Men can NEVER be stolen..So, why cry?!

    There’s no less racism in Indians too.. God Bless Them with good brains!

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